" Oh, no," I said."Not a worse feeling in the world to know you made a mistake like that." Do you want to talk about it?" Jena asked."I can leave," I said."No, you don't have to. It's just that he was into making me lick hisass and to lick his balls, slapping my face with his cock." I've had my face slapped by a cock." That was a little different," she said. "You could have left if youwanted to and you were giving to someone to help them. I would havelicked his balls if it would help someone." Yeah, it was different," I admitted."Then he was getting into what he called DTD." Eeeew." What's that?" I asked, feeling a bit na?ve."Dick to death," Jena said."He was holding my head to the base of his cock and making me gag. Hewas face-fucking me. I like giving a blowjob, but that was a littlemuch." How did it end?" He came on my face and then took some pictures with his cellphone. Ithink he took some earlier too." What a sleeze!" he snapped."It's over with," Francine said. "He then untied. Whilst then, my school, Mum and Trudy did all that they could to protectme from transphobia and bullying, they could not protect me from my owninternal hormonal conflict. You see I was born a boy and part of me stillwanted, despite my appearance and environment, to be one of the boys andto be popular amongst the boys. Part of me believed in a concept called"normal" and that somehow I was not "normal" because it was not "normal"for a boy to be dressed as a girl. Although the other part of me sawnothing wrong with the girl I had become.So at the age of 17 I stated to plan how I would secretly buy some boy'sclothes or just take off some of my makeup, be less feminine. The idea oftaking off my makeup or dressing as a boy excited me. In the same way asit had been both exhilarating, exciting and humiliating for me to go outdressed as a girl for the first time, so it also felt exciting to go outone day without my nail extensions and only wearing nail polish and onanother day without.
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